hurting.....

Cervical Spine Stenosis that is the diagnosis the husband was given months ago, since then his arm "burns", fingers go numb, muscles in his back cause pain, his back "burns", the skin on his side and leg "burn" constantly, he cannot sit in a chair for more than a few moments without getting very uncomfortable - having to stand and move about to relieve the "burn" and tension.
Sleep is seldom more than an hour or so, then shifting, moving and straining to find comfort. This poor guy has been dealing with this for months, seen a neurologist, his own GP on a more than weekly basis, waiting for neurosurgeon. Been through acupunture, massage, physio therapy, myofacial is the small relief he finds and it's temporary. He has lost 22 lbs in little over a month.
Need I go on...nah.
We wait and wait and wait some more.
Yet, so strange to see him walking down the street YOU would never know something is wrong...it's all on the inside. Just don't hug him or slap him on the shoulder, he will hit the floor.

Strange...to consciously walk a little behind the man, to stand just a little to the side and behind him ....JUST IN CASE someone should walk up behind him....just in case someone squeezes his shoulder in greeting....I can't protect him from the hurt. ah....life and it's hurdles.

My heart hurts for the guy. I only wish ...for good health. Simple when one has it, coveted when one doesn't.

not funny, witty or clever....lacking jocularity.

It's already April....wow....where does time go? Did it pass this quickly when I was in my 20's...or my 30's...or even my 40's.?
Life's challenges. Constant. Perpetual. True. Neverending.

Seems like when I ask for courage, God hands me more hurdles and I weakly manage to climb over them...albiet with much support and guidance.

Latest realization....(yet, again...) is that as much as I would like to fit in....I don't. Each time I try .....I end up hurt inside. Why try? 'cause I am a typical human being...I suppose. Arrows to the heart.....heal slowly, but they heal nonetheless.

Wasn't it Popeye..who said...I am what I am and thats all that I am.....good lesson learned....will try to learn from Popeye's wisdom.