back to work tomorrow

Well, it's back to work after a couple of weeks holiday. The weather was perfect, one could not have asked for better, truly!

I would like to think that I am a little more relaxed that what I was two weeks ago and I am, it's just that when you KNOW that your Dad is leaving this world...you just want to stay in touch with him all the time. We did not go out of the Saskatoon area for our holiday, wanted to be close in case.... I talked with Mom and Dad at least once a day throughout the holiday and was pleased that we were close enough to chat back and forth regularly. Our furthest point in our holiday journey took us to Pike Lake. It was lovely, quiet and the pool is fantastic. Our kids came out for a visit one evening, we went swimming, took Molly on a paddle boat (oh, my aching legs) and had a exception evening. It was nice to go for long walks with hubby, spend a little quiet time reading while he did ALL the cooking...yep, he did all the cooking!! I was on clean up duty...and when you are using paper plates...hey the clean up is pretty quick!!

Life will be back to routine, programmed and structured once again.....ah...well, it was good while it lasted.

what a crazy world .....

The phone rang and it was my girlfriend who has been diagnosed with breast cancer. These have been tough days for her, lots of tears and emotional stuff to deal with. Today when the phone rang I noticed it was their lake number (they have a cabin at Emma), anyway....she is so joyful on the phone her GP just called her and all the pathology reports are in, she had some cells that were abnormal ...but only a few cells and they got them with the biopsy! She does not have breast cancer.....can you believe it! I started to cry for her!! What news....what fantastic news. She is flying about on cloud nine, she has not given it a thought as yet that somebody gave her a week of dreaded thoughts, emotional rollercoastering....and maybe she is so happy she won't even go there. Let's hope. I am so VERY pleased for her and her family.....what great news!! She is bound to be celebrating life, love and healthy living!! My congratulations goes out to her and those who love and care for her.....what a relief....what a burden lifted.....AMEN.

My Dad remains the same, he is so very tired each and every day.

Life is full of beginnings, endings and much to learn during the journey in between.

mama mia.....

My girlfriend asked me to attend the musical Mama Mia with her. I was not to repay her for the tickets....so I invited her to dinner....her choice of restaurant. It was a great evening...the show was fantastic!! so much energy and talent all on one stage. What a delight.

During dinner, it was just my girlfriend and I, she told me that the results of her breast biopsy showed she has breast cancer. The entire pathological report has not come in so whether or not she has more surgery ahead will be determined by that, but she will have radiation in the near future. Her tears made my heart ache.

We had a wonderful evening together, but now that I am home and quiet once again ....my thoughts and prayers will be with her this night and for many nights to come.

no fireworks for this fourth of July....

Officially we are on holidays. We went to the lake with friends this weekend, second night there hubby bent over to pick up a couple of blankets we had thrown into the boat and he threw out his back.....really badly! Good thing I packed Advil. His 'tummy' problem continued to act up throughout the weekend, but he would not stay down at all....even played golf, badly...but played. Now really,.....typical though,..... yeash. Stayed in contact with my parents the entire weekend, no changes. Dad did have a bad night the day before we left and I was terrified that something would go wrong while we were away, Mom repeatedly told me...she would handle whatever happened and would contact me if needed. I called them! I'm such a worry wart.

Dad called me today while Mom was out for a visit next door....he wants me to intercede for him on a matter of his heart. Puts me in a tough position......oh boy.....situations come and go but the ramifications can linger on and on and on. I'm a big girl now, hope I can handle it.....God willing.

Our grand-daughter was over for a visit today, she makes me laugh and brings me joy....she also makes me very tired which is okay....cause when my head hits the pillow at night I am out cold.
Today, she helped water plants outside, got her feet good and packed with mud, slurped up a milkshake without really coming up for air, slept for two solid hours, woke up asking questions about building towers...good grief.....she knew more about that than I did, picked and cleaned (from the garden) some onions to take to Mommy to cook, watched an old Strawberry Shortcake video off the internet, had some of the biggest bubbles from the wind blowing threw her new bubble wand, and melted her Uncle's heart when he stopped by for a quick visit and as he left she pointed to her eye, then crossed her heart and pointed her finger at him....the sequence Gramma taught her ....for when she leaves in the car.... I (eye) love (crossed heart) you (pointing at YOU)....we do that little gesture every time she leaves the house and I watch from the step as they pull out of the driveway. Little things that bring the heart some joy, huh.
Things to hang on to.......

I am trying to keep my priorities straight, to remain positive, but sometimes I fail...actually if you want the unvarnished truth....I fail a lot...it's difficult to watch Dad fade from life, his hard to see him get upset over issues that should never be issues in the first place, the phone rings and I wait to hear ....is it Dad? is he okay? is he going to be in pain? has he taken a turn for the worse?
so many questions popping in my head and making my heart race.