that hurt.....

I have gotten into the chair now how to manage to get out of it?
Yesterday, whilst moving snow I turned and went to chuck a "snowcake" ...you know the big chunks of snow that break off looking like a slab of cake...anyway I turned and threw it...just as I threw something out in my back, or pulled something...I dunno. I do know it's painful. This is a first for me, have never had a back ailment before....now, I know what the fuss is all about. Wow.

Advil, the heating pad and slow movements are on the agenda for today....I called into work telling them I won't be there. So, it's quiet in store. Good thing I have some book reading I can catch up on...cause that will be the extent of movement...my eyes left to right, left to right as I read.

Wow. People who have gone through back problems/ailments, my compassion level has certainly been raised!!!

music, cookies and snow

I have the making of chocolate cookies sitting on the kitchen counter...realized we are out of eggs. Dear husband has a few errands to do, so he's picking up the eggs needed. I straightened the house up and whilst I do that I listen to my favorite tunes...uh..rather loudly if one should ever knock at the door...you may need to stand on the door chime...I wont' hear the knocking. A friend of our son's is coming to clean off the driveway with his 'Bobcat'...we really need it done...it's not as though we haven't shoveled all winter...it's the fact that we need to move some large amount of snow so if we get a melt...it won't flood in our basement! Plus the snowplough that has been going down our street doesn't do a great job when it hits our driveway...we have a very large mound of snow that just about takes the bottom off regular cars....yikes. So this young fella is coming over to help out with that as well.
Quiet Saturday for the most part.

Some of the reading I have been doing....I share with you....
"our mind is busy with thoughts," says Nouwen in the Way of the Heart, while "the heart instructs us on what is. The renewing of our mind takes place through our hearts. He quotes Theophan, the recluse, who says, "To pray is to descend with the mind into the heart, and there to stand before the face of the Lord, ever present, all-seeing within you. If we allow our mind simply to listen, we perhaps begin to hear our heart speak - faintly, beneath all the clatter. It says, I am so weary, so lost. I have no energy to redeem myself. How I long for rest."
Without continuing to write out each word....the author comes to the conclusion that during certain time...you just need to open yourself to let God come to you and let your heart go home.
Thus giving you the rest you need, surrounded in His love. Resting in His love, is not applying a spiritual formula to ourselves a kind of a fix-it. It is the essence of repentance. Laying down your false self, laying down our performance...and finding that His love surrounds us, ...that He simply loves us where we are. We begin to just "be", having our identity anchored in Him.
We become ontologically substantive...I love that word..ontological. It means the study of of the nature of being or reality. Gives you a new meaning to be one with God, huh? It's not suppose to be difficult...but with all the noises of the world humming in our ears/hearts/minds....if a person can just tune that out and quiet one's self and listen.........there it is, there He is.

Post it on a LARGE bulletin board.....

ONE. Give people more than they expect and

> do it cheerfully.

>

> TWO. Marry a man/woman you love to talk to.

> As you get older, their conversational skills will

> be as important as any other.

>

> THREE. Don't believe all you hear, spend all

> you have or sleep all you want.

>

> FOUR. When you say, "I love you," mean it.

>

>

> FIVE. When you say, "I'm sorry," look the

> person in the eye.

>

> SIX. Be engaged at least six months before

> you get married.

>

> SEVEN. Believe in love at first sight.

>

> EIGHT. Never laugh at anyone's dream. People

> who don't have dreams don't have much.

>

> NINE. Love deeply and passionately. You

> might get hurt but it's the only way to live life

> completely.

>

> TEN. In disagreements, fight fairly. No name

> calling.

>

> ELEVEN. Don't judge people by their

> relatives.

>

> TWELVE. Talk slowly but think quickly.

>

> THIRTEEN. When someone asks you a question

> you don't want to answer, smile and ask, "Why do you

> want to know?"

>

> FOURTEEN. Remember that great love and great

> achievements involve great risk..

>

> FIFTEEN. Say "bless you" when you hear

> someone sneeze.

>

> SIXTEEN. When you lose, don't lose the

> lesson

>

> SEVENTEEN. Remember the three R's: Respect

> for self; Respect for others; and responsibility for

> all your actions.

>

> EIGHTEEN. Don't let a little dispute injure

> a great friendship.

>

> NINETEEN. When you realize you've made a

> mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.

>

> TWENTY. Smile when picking up the phone. The

> caller will hear it in your voice.

>

> TWENTY-ONE. Spend some time alone.

After I read these,...I thought I had to share them....wished I had been the author of such a list...your basic twelve ...uh...twenty-one step program.

here she comes again? well.....maybe

So, the weather ....uh...well when from Saskatchewan ..talk about the weather anywhere, anytime and anyplace.
Today is no different considering we have a forecast snowy white. Looks like we may get a "dump" of the stuff overnight and continue on into tomorrow. Just what we need, more snow.
I don't know if our "water table" is in dire need of the stuff or not, but whatever the case maybe we sure don't want a "quick melt" to happen!! There are not enough sump pumps in Saskatoon to handle a quick melt...what am I talking about...it's gonna snow...not melt. Trying to think ahead...wrong! Let's get over this hurdle before we hit the next one.

I have been a bit...uh...overly emotional of late. I have been watching my elderly Dad fade. My arm is larger than his now, he's pale and his strength is so low....he doesn't open jars anymore, can't. He sits quietly in his chair in the living room watching t.v. or he lays down on his bed and rests/sleeps for hours. The Dr. has tried to get his iron level back to close to normal and nothing is working. I cried lots yesterday just thinking about him and his state of life. There is so much that I miss about my Dad, like his willingness to take on tasks that seemed impossible ...yet, he made doors out of an old ping pong table, he re-wired my entire dryer when we couldn't afford to buy a new one, he made me furniture that I will treasure in this life and pass on to my kids. Although, he can't do those things anymore, he still makes me feel like I'm so special to this world....his world, true. But my Dad believes in me, always has and that is something a child cherishes in their heart for a lifetime. It's been tough watching him lose strength, quietly becoming frail and weak. My dear husband reminded me this morning when I was talking about Dad and the inevitable "one day he will not be with us anymore"....my husband reminded me that we all finish life off "one day"....it's just watching the process before you that puts your heart into water and pours out your eyes, in tears.
I am not saying my Dad is "near the finish line" ....it's just the watching him fade that is difficult at the moment....I pray that in March when he has some more tests the Doctor's will find whatever it is thats making him feel this way and he will be strong enough to be treated and respond well....giving us more time. My heart is getting flooded from time to time and my eyes water because of it.....

Tomorrow is Ash Wednesday.....

So what does that mean? exactly......

I went searching about for a simple but clear answer...and found this:

"Lent consists of the forty days before Easter. In the western Church, we skip over the Sundays when we count the days of Lent, because Sunday is always the joyful celebration of the Resurrection. Therefore, the first day of Lent in the western Church is always a Wednesday.

Biblical societies relied very heavily on wood fires for heating and cooking, which meant that keeping ashes under control was a major housekeeping task. Then as now, if a person was preoccupied with something serious, they didn’t always tend to the housekeeping—it’s the least of their concerns. Imagine that there is a death in the family. A friend stopping by to pay their respects might gently say, “Did you know you have ashes on your face?”

So ashes became a sign of remorse, repentance, and mourning. Today someone might wear a black armband to signify that they are in mourning; back then people put ashes on their foreheads.

You can find biblical examples of this in 2 Samuel 13:19, Esther 4:1-3, Job 42:6, and Jeremiah 6:26. During Lent, ancient Christians mourned their sins and repented of them, so it was appropriate for them to show their sincerity by having ashes on their foreheads. The custom has persisted in the church as secular society has changed around us.

It is most appropriate on Ash Wednesday, when we begin a period of sober reflection, self-examination, and spiritual redirection." - Rev. K. Collins

so....there it is simple, straightforward and now YOU know, too! Just in case you were wondering....

gosh but she's sweet.....

A precious little girl came over last night to spend the evening with us. Her Mommy & Daddy were enjoying the evening partaking in an "progressive dinner", I believe they call it. Anyway, they were out enjoying themselves as were we!! The barbequed chicken was a hit with all three of us at the table. Played downstairs for awhile, ...I still am amazed that Molly picks these two ragged Ann & raggedy Andy dolls to drag about. They are so old and not really adorable like some of the toys here, but those are the two favorites who watch a movie with us, who have tea parties with us and are generally included in most activities Molly participates in whilst here. I had just purchased a new very pink tea set and she must have had 10 tea parties while she was here....what a mess....but who cries over spilled milk? not me. This morning when she woke up she was sooooo cuddley. One forgets how warm and sweet those moments are until you relive them with grandkids....how precious. Grampa slipped outside and drove over to MCDonalds....what a great surprise.....wow....another tea party in the making!!
Having a grandchild is truly a blessing. She makes us laugh, keeps us young and when I hear "Gramma" my heart melts. What a beautiful gift.

girlfriend

What's so hard about picking up the phone and saying "hello, how are you?". Well, in this day and age it would seem like a lot!
Life interrupts with it's ups and downs, committments and daily issues that picking up the phone, or even tapping out an e-mail to friends seems difficult if not darn near impossible. Feeling like you are interrupting their schedule, or the lack of news in your life maybe seem like WHY?...why pick up the phone, I've nothing to talk about, I've no good news to share, I'm tired.....
Well, today I got over that hurdle...and called my friend. We haven't spoken face to face in WAY to long...but hearing her pleasant voice on the other end of the line made my heart sing. She's one of the most precious gifts in my life, we pick up were we left off....talk is easy and flows smoothly. She has one of those generous, kind spirits that just bring me to a calm place listening to hear voice. She's one special gal, I am blessed to call her friend.

Laurie, God gave me a ray of sunshine when He placed you in my life....

a very wonderful quote.....

Twenty years from now, you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails.

Explore. Dream. Discover.

Mark Twain 1835- 1910

Two out of four......gone

So two out of four holidays are pretty much gone. I have relaxed, puttered and was very lazy indeed. My headache finally went away around four this afternoon, ah...relief.
I read. I slept. I read. It was a quiet day, a day of restoration I like to think.

Tonight, our beautiful daughter called and asked if we were going to be home, she was going out for a walk. A walk, she lives a good distance from us, but she a "walker" and enjoys getting out in the fresh air. So I put the kettle on for tea, watching for her as I read.

We had a lovely chat. I made a concentrated effort to have the front room feel calm and welcoming with fragrant candles burning and the lights just so, a perfect place to relax and enjoy her company. I love having moments like this with her. I wonder if she will ever truly understand how much I love her, how much I respect her wisdom and insights....and how truly beautiful I think she is. Tonight I reminded her of those things.

Spending time with my kids is one of those things I never, NEVER take for granted..... far too special for that. It's a gift, I enjoy each and every time the opportunity arises.

Can you tell?

Okay, so on a day off one takes the time to poke about it their blog.
I have added links that I visit regularly....now it will be easy to check in the blog and pop over to see what's going on in those places that I have some interest.
Hope you take the time to check them out someday as well.

false sense of security?

Quite often when I write down my thoughts here, I feel like nobody actually reads this stuff anyway.....so I babble on and on about the strange goings on in my head & heart.

Thanks Sherri for leaving a comment .....I sometimes forget I am not alone in this space all the time.

I have some time off over the next few days....told someone today that I just may not get outta my pajamas tomorrow and schlep around the house, read, eat some chocolate, and let my slippers flop along the floor all day long.....and if you believe I could actually do that, you don't know me well, but it's certainly a nice thought that will likely NEVER be put into action.....well, maybe never......

I came across this little heading today....
These chewy caramel-nut chocolate delights, which we rediscovered in several upscale coffeehouses, are based on an entry from a Pillsbury Bake-Off in the 1960's. When we don't have times to make our own caramel sauce, we like to us a Butterscotch Caramel Topping.

Now really do you not think I was completely hooked.....oh, my....
Carmelitas....
2 cups quick cooking rolled oats
2 cups flour
1 1/2 cups packed light brown sugar
1 tsp. baking soda
1/2 tsp. salt
1 cup butter, melted
10 ounces chocolate or 1 1/2 cups chocolate chips
1 cup pecans or walnuts, lightly toasted and coarsely chopped
1 cup caramel sauce.

Preheat oven at 350.
Grease bottom of 13x9 pan.
Combine the oats, flour, brown sugar, baking soda and salt. Stir to mix well.
Add the butter, mix until well blended.
Distribute 1/2 the mixture into prepared pan. Press lightly with fingertips.
Bake for 10 minutes.
Remove pan from oven, sprinkle the chopped chocolate (chips) and toasted nuts evenly over the crust, then drizzle the caramel sauce.
Distribute the remaining oat mixture over the top and press gently with fingertips.
Return pan to over for about 25 minutes or until golden brown on top.


now, how's your saliva doing????....oh...wow...all that is needed is a fresh cup of coffee to go with this little yummy.

in need of a holiday.....

You know you are in need of a holiday when:
- your thoughts are becoming very negative.
-you have a rash on your face and it's nerves....nice!
-you have not had a good hair day in weeks.
-your heart is doing a little "running" away on you.
-you can't seem to get warm.
-knowing you are crawling outta bed in the morning, instead of jumping out...like you usually do.
-the pile of books you planned to read....are collecting dust!!!!
-dinner out is planned and you are not excited to go.
-a headache continues after two days.
-little noises make you jump.
- and last but not least......you laughed out loud at the balloons that were meant to be heart shaped, but were hung upside down and you thought they looked like a set of boobs!


Yessiree, it's time for a holiday.....

Happy Valentines Day

Happy Valentines Day!!
Today is the day one is to share a gift of love with the ones that they love. So the florists are busy, the chocolates flow outta the stores and jewelry outlets are jam packed, places that we love to frequent when dining out are full. Yep, today's the day we go broke.

I don't mean to be a wet blanket on this special day, but come on....it's a marketing ploy and we all know it. For the most part we all fall into it. Now that I have got that little rant off my chest.
I do have a couple of sweethearts to talk about........well, first and foremost Molly, of course. Brooke, my daughter without a doubt, a sweeter heart one cannot find. But, I speak of two little hearts that found there way into the world on Sunday. My niece gave birth, so I am now a GREAT AUNT...go figure. The TWINS, are boys. Pretty good size 4lb.10 oz and 4lb. 11oz. They don't have names as yet but they are handsome and precious....now that is something to call the florist about....yep. A couple of new little sweethearts in the world.

"just talking about it"

Really, I am just talking about it.
Really?
Why? Does it concern you?
Uh...no.
Does it involve you?
uh...well...no.
By the way you are talking, you are upset over what "THEY" are doing?
Well, because it's not right.
Really, is it your job to make decisions for "them"?
Give me a break? I was only talking about it......
Really.

Just because someone does something that doesn't meet with your approval, you are going to "just talk about it" to whomever?
There are laws in place to guide us, but their is no law against poking our noses into places that we are not invited.
It's not idle chit-chat....it's gossip.
It's not prattle....it's causes division.
It's not just babble....it's hurtful, spiteful and malicious.

God help us from spreading gossip..help us to become united, and find the true meaning of unconditional love in the many layers and forms it can be found.

crossing the line....

It's all about crossing the line.
Knowing when to walk away, having the "KNOWING" that it time to leave.

We stopped for an appetizer and a few drinks, cranberry juice and ginger ale....oh, I love it, on Friday evening with some friends. I enjoyed our time together, it was nice to relax, eat some really great food and laugh. It's all good until the dreaded time to go home, I have come across as the nasty wife before and there are only a few ways of saying.... uh...no we are going home, NOW...especially when there is ONE person in the crowd who pushes all the buttons and makes me come across like a grumpy, controlling wife. Or, at least I feel that way when driven to the point of defending myself when the husband would love to sit a little longer and linger. I have lingered long enough, worked a full day, have a full tummy and enjoyed some friendship....my time is up....it time to go home. Why. Why I ask does there have to be one in the crowd who wants to linger and drag MY husband with him. The husband, looks at me like I am making the decision here....yeash. Come on....lend me a hand here....we have been here long enough!! I have sat through "just one more" .....three times....now it's time to go home and enjoy the rest of the evening in peace.
You know the funny part about all this is. I actually understand the stress that some people are under and I view them with "open" eyes...that their way of relief from the week is to sit and relax and share laughter with buddies, enjoying a few "wobby pops". I have no problem with that. It's when it's time to go and .....oh, boy.....it becomes a moment. A little tug-a-war goes on. I am a person of "cut and dried", black and white, very little gray in my life....but there is some. But when it comes to certain decisions ....they are MADE and ACTION is taken. This is one of those situations, time to go...therefore, the coat goes on and "good-nights" are spoken. All good.

Life is about balance, right. I am learning to balance ....the fact that this is a learning curve for both parties....we are learning to find a boundary whereas both parties are happy.....always learning!!

a note.....the illness within the family is looking better and we trust that we will find complete and full restoration in all matters! Amen. (my sincere and grateful thanks to all who prayed)

a Mom moment.....
I was at my son's place of work today, I thought it best to at least say "hello" cause he would KNOW that I had been there....so, I stopped at his desk. He had a customer on the other side of the desk but....I interrupted and quickly said "I just dropped by to say hello to a very handsome young man" and I snuck a kiss onto his cheek. My son smiled politely, indulgently.

No matter what happens in this life, my family will know that I love them, PUBLICLY...if necessary! yeah, it was a MOM moment.

what day is it?

I was not at work Monday and Tuesday. Stuff happening within the family and I felt I was needed more at home than at work. Family first, always.

Went back to work yesterday (Wednesday) and did not feel like myself whatsoever. Not only overly tired, but grumpy added to it, lovely...just lovely. I did make my co-worker laugh till she had tears coming down her cheeks...so the day was not a complete surreal loss....there was ONE real moment.

Thank you Lord, for real moments.

hinged on a word.....

I love the use of words.
Define. Expression. You understand people by their verbalizing the proper word, we can "visualize" pictures, we comprehend because someone has made themselves very clear and precise because of the words they use. I, totally, get that.

I have a lovely friend who pauses in her sentences to chose the right word, to give the best possible "picture" or understanding that she can to get me on board her thinking. It brings a crinkle to my eyes (no not cause I'm old, silly) but she wants desperately to have me on the same pathway of thought that she is....it makes me smile because she so clearly wants me on her wave length of thinking.

I have often brought out my thesaurus to retrieve a word or two ....to try to make myself clearer and understood better or at least I think I am trying to do that.

What brought about these thoughts of mine, you ask?
A few months back, I pondered (yeah, right word) why we are called Christians. You know those of us who believe in Jesus Christ, the resurrection and the love that God had for us to let His Son come to earth to save my sorry hide. (maybe not so great a word, but it's my hide I speak of not yours)....I think I prefer the word "Believer" or "Follower". Just my thoughts at the moment, I also think about "the Way" as a life style choice, I also think about all the symbolism we have created since He walked the earth - mostly to train our thoughts to think on Him (ie: wearing a Cross, doesn't make be a good Christian....for me it's a reminder of who He was ....and who I should be because of Him) ....my thoughts are bouncing around words, symbols and all kinds of thought provoking things.

I had no one to vent them upon, so hey.....here I blog my thoughts.....you just got to listen (uh, read) them.

once again, just a few thoughts floating about in my head.......I know that I have much more to say on the subject....but the thoughts bounce around and my fingers have duties to perform other than typing....so I go to do dishes and let the thoughts bounce.....

thoughts of friends

Shall I give up the friend I have valued and tried if he kneel not before th same altar with me?
-Thomas Moore

He that is thy friend indeed,
He will help thee in thy need;
If thou sorrow, he will weep,
If thou wake, he cannot sleep;
Thus of every grief in heart,
He with thee doth bear a part,
These are certain signs to know
Faithful friend from flattering foe.
- William Shakespeare

The only reward of virtue is virtue; the only way to have a friend is to be one.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

A friend is a person with whom I may be sincere. Before him, I may think aloud.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

So what are the qualities that you find in your friends? I mean friends, not just acquaintances or those family members you love and cherish....the people outside of your family. (Not that your family cannot be your friends!!!)....have you found true friends in the workplace, friends inside the church, friends from school that have remained in touch over the years.
What makes you a good friend?
I find it so interesting to sit back and think about the different people I call my friends. Yet, when push came to shove and I really needed someone to talk with......who would be the person I would chose to speak with? Who would be the person I would call on for assistance? are they one in the same?
My best friend is my husband, of that I have no doubt! But sometimes I need my female friends to chat with, giggle with, listen to me rant and rave, give me a hug...or just drop in for a moment to say hello, to cheer me on, to listen to my sadness and cry with me.

Friends.
Yes, friends ....one of life's greatest treasures.