eye of the storm

That is what today felt like....a full and complete storm.
I suppose we are heading into a snowy night as well, seems rather appropriate.

You know when the wind 'whirls' about and you can't seem to catch your bearings. The wind is tugging you this way and that, your breathing is difficult, someone calls to you and needs you but you haven't the strength to respond. Uh...ya...that was how my weekend went and Monday pretty much finished me off. It wasn't about work issues, it's about human issues.....they weigh heavy on one when you are in the midst of so many life issues happening all around you. Each of us are bound to feel weighted down now and then, today was my day, I suppose. A good night sleep, prayfully asking God to restore my strength. He has always done so, so ....really tonight should be no different.

This whole Christmas season has become a little frazzled. What used to be a time of delight ....I mean I loved walking amongst the masses of people knowing what I was looking to buy, feeling the energy of the people all around and finding it made me 'energized'. At the moment, I feel drained....out of sorts.....I hope to get into the 'spirit' of things soon....feel that zing and look forward to wrapping those treasures for under the tree. I hope that my Dad will be here for Christmas.

What used to be a regular styled Christmas for us has now been altered. Mom and Dad will not be coming over Christmas day, that will put some tears in Mom's eyes for sure throughout the day. I know we will make it over there to have a visit, but it's not the same without the smell of turkey in the oven, people milling about snacking on treats, playing games, talking on the phone to friends who call wishing you Merry Christmas. This will be a time of change and difference and Mom talks about it and how it will be quite a bit these days. Anticipating? yeah, maybe.
Worried, that too. Preparing for change. We would have moved everyone and everything to be there with them, but Dad cannot take the hustle & bustle of people.....his mind spins, he becomes restless and is already exhausted...so best to leave as is....plus the fact it's a few weeks away...we don't know what the near future brings.
These things are a constant on my mind. Now I know what Dad means when he feels like he is in a whirl......

I will take advantage of time, when I can and do a little Christmas shopping...here and there.
Trying to get a few presents under the tree for loved ones. Molly's excitement is so very contagious......we were taking her home the other night, it was dark and people had their Christmas lights on, trees seemed to go up earlier this year....and she noticed them all...raising her voice for each new set of lights or tree that she spied....all wrapped up in amazement and wonder. My husband and I smiled at each other throughout the trip.....little Molly brings so much "wonder" and "beauty" to the everyday world, everything is beautiful and pretty to little children - what a delight to be around one, often....gives us so very much joy. I can hardly wait to see how she reacts to the Enchanted Forest....oh boy! something for Grandparents to look forward to.

Enjoy the moment.