carrying the load...

Dad is carrying the heaviest of loads. When he can't sleep he thinks, his mind considers that which is to come and a lot of that was has been, from the different procedures he has gone through in the recent past to the wonder of "how come no Dr. found anything when I so often said, "I don't feel good!" and now I am facing what? I talked with Dad for sometime at lunch, Mom went out with my Aunt for a bit today and Dad & I had lunch together at their apt. It's tough to see his clothes hang off his body, his arms so thin...but yet there is no pain and he talks until he tires...which isnt' long but it's nice to be able to have these moments to treasure. His strength is quickly fading but he manages to get around the apt. slowly without a walker, shuffling along...the sound of his slippers on the carpet are forever going to be in my head. We have had a routine for what seems like an eternity....when I leave their apt. I stand at the door and chat a moment with Mom, Dad stays in his chair...always has....and just before I head out the door...I say "bye Dad"...he replies, with either..."bye" or "see ya later"...oh...and the odd time he will say "you'll call tonight?" yeah Dad, I always do...always will....from now until ...well, I always will.